


Putting Back the Pieces

by BeamsnBows



Series: Rebuilding the Nest [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-05
Updated: 2013-10-05
Packaged: 2017-12-28 12:31:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/992032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeamsnBows/pseuds/BeamsnBows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of New York that's all you can do. Put back the pieces of yourself left scattered around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Putting Back the Pieces

He’s been docked, trapped on the goddamn helicarrier until he’s cleared. For what he doesn’t know, could be duty, could be to get sent to a nice paradise somewhere with his name deleted from all systems. Either way he’s stuck.

Nat told him not to think on it, every day she checks in to remind him. But he can’t help it, every goddamned day he passes the memorial wall on his way to the cafe, and every goddamned day he stops and stares at it. Wondering to himself how many names he put up there personally. Not that it matters he takes the blame for them all, he was the leader of that strike team anyway. All that blood is on his hands regardless of whether it was his arrow, his bullet, or his bomb that killed them. 

He’s glad he was cleared for the shooting range, it keeps him focused on something. Anything besides the numb he now normally feels. But now he’s starting to feel numb down there too. His shooting partner hasn’t shown up since he was cleared. And when Clint looks at the roster his name isn’t there. When he passes the memorial wall that evening he sees his shooting partner’s name. He doesn’t sleep that night. 

He goes to the SHIELD psychologist everyday too, not that he has a choice. And he’s almost positive it isn’t helping much. Which only makes him wonder about what Fury’s being told. Yesterday he was told to start writing this journal, he was told it’d help, told that it would never go anywhere. It’d be a complete secret. But Clint just laughed and said “Y’know this is SHIELD right?”

He hasn’t written a damn journal yet, can’t seem to bring himself to. Every day after lunch, after passing that goddamned memorial wall, he come back to his quarters, open up his laptop and… nothing. Nothing would happen. He’d sit and stare into nothing for an hour then give up and move on with his day. 

So far there’s been only one thing Clint’s written, a resignation letter, written and rewritten over and over until it got tiring. He hasn’t sent it yet, maybe its cause he hasn’t got the balls. But maybe one day. Maybe soon.


End file.
